We took off early morning from Alkali Hot Springs and drove up toward Austin on the 376 to Spencer Hot Spring. We stopped in Tonopah to get some supplies then made our way through Big Smoky Valley and up toward Petes Summit. We were originally going to Diana’s Punchbowl Hot Spring but the weather forecast called for rain and we didn’t want to get stuck in the mud in the middle of nowhere in Melissa’s slammed down VW Rabbit. We played it safe and went to Spencer Hot Spring instead.

Spencer consists of two sets of hot springs, an upper and lower. When we got there no one was around, we had the whole place to ourselves for the day. We soaked in the lower hot spring the first night because the tub is temperature controlled and it was a little nippy out. We set up our tent right next to the hot spring and used the car as a windwall. We got a good 3 hour soak in, took a bunch of pictures, watched the sunset, drank a billion beers and made dinner. By the time we were done eating the wind was blowing furiously and we decided to seek refuge in our tent.

We awoke the next morning to zero wind, in fact it was nice enough to walk around without a jacket on. We cooked some breakfast and I took a huge dump. As I was plopping, a car drove down from the upper springs right past me, they must have drove up there while we were asleep, they got a free poo show. Since the weather was fair we drove to the upper spring for a morning soak. After a few beers we took off to check out Kyle Hot Spring, which will be the next blog post.

Directions from Austin, Nevada: Drive east on the 50 and make a right (south) on the 376. Make an immediate left (east) on NF-001 which is a graded dirt road with a sign for Toquime Cave. Drive 5.6 miles to a Y split, take the left side for 1.6 miles up a small hill to the round tub. Drive up the hill another 500 yards for the second pool. You can totally camp at this place, there is soft flat ground and fire pits. Just pack out all your trash and keep the place clean.

So Melissa and I were gonna go to Ringbolt Hot Springs for the night and then head back to Los Angeles, but we got stung by the adventure stinkbug and chose to head up the 95 to Alkali Hot Spring near Goldfield, NV. We got in at night but the moon was full so we could see pretty well without headlamps. We dropped trou, stepped in the tub and cracked a beer. We noticed there was a Magnum condom wrapper on the ground along with a bunch of other trash, then a few minutes later we saw the condom in the grass. Who the fuck wears condoms? Like seriously, if you are the type of person to pump outdoors are you really that concerned about std’s and children? Maybe if you are some gay bear pounding some random dude at the hot spring then yeah wear a condom, but there was no poo on this condom so I assume it was used specifically for intravaginal lovemaking. Just pull out bro and blast on the ground, that way it will dry up before the next person gets there and they don’t have to see your gross dong-wrap.

So we soaked for a few hours and then pitched our tent next to the car and fell asleep. We woke up pretty early to soak again before we headed out to our next destination. We cleaned up the place and dumped our trash in the can by the parking lot. Apparently this place is owned by some dude and he gets hella bummed cuz niggaz be trashin’ the place. Hopefully we prevented him from getting another hernia. My little advice to that dude, DON’T OWN A HOT SPRING, unless you want to deal with drug users, homeless people and public sex on the nightly. Seriously, it’s like you’re a fucking prison warden, you gotta put up with the worst people ever and you ain’t even getting paid.

Directions: From Goldfield Nevada drive 4 miles north on the 95 and go left on Silver Peak Road. After 6.8 miles you will see an abandoned power station on the left and a giant parking lot with a tree and trashcans in the middle. Park here and walk up toward the old building to the hot spring on the west side. De-clothe, crack open a brew-dog and clean up your fucking condoms!

Melissa and I took off for the day to visit Arizona Hot Springs near the Hoover Dam. This is one of the four hot spring canyons that runs along the Colorado River at the base of the dam. I have been to Gold Strike Hot Spring before but wanted to check out a new spot. The other two canyons, Palm Pool and Boy Scout, require kayaks so we chose to head to Ringbolt.

The hike in is 3 miles and took us about 2 hours. The canyon curves like crazy and we were weighed down with heavy bags full of beer and camping equipment. We chose to follow the wash all the way to the river then headed downstream to the mouth of the canyon and set up camp on a nice flat spot. It is possible to hike all the way down the hot spring canyon to the pools but we chose the easy path. We set up our tent an hour before sunset then headed to the pools for a soak. We climbed up the giant ladder to the top of the hot waterfall and walked over to the middle tub. There was a group of people from Utah and I think one of their buddies was from Alaska: Mike, Melissa, Katie and I can’t remember the other dude’s name. We drank beers, soaked and talked about the good old days. They hiked out that night but not before leaving us some of their camping food. After they left we had the whole place to ourselves.

We soaked in the pools for hours. I liked the lower pool the most since it was around 99 degrees and perfect for falling asleep in. Melissa liked the middle pool which was about 104. The upper pool was way too hot for both of us, I’m guessing it’s about 108. The moonlight made the entire place look like Halo 3 and these cute little bats flew by us all night eating the mosquitoes which kept us from getting bit up. Around 10pm walked back to our tent and made a huge feast then passed out under the full moon.

We woke up the next morning and hit the vault toilet along the riverbank before heading back up the canyon for a morning soak. A few people came to check the place out but didn’t stay to chat. We packed up around 3pm and hiked back out the canyon to the car. What we expected to be a 2 day vacation turned into an entire weeks worth of adventure, but more on that in the next post.

Directions: From Boulder City head Southeast on US 93 and cross over the Hoover Dam into Arizona. At mile marker 4.2 you will see a sign for the White Rock Canyon Recreational Area. Make a left into the giant parking lot and lock your car doors. Hike under the highway, down the giant wash and into the canyon. After 3 miles you will reach the Colorado River. You must look closely for trail markers on the left. Head downstream for about 5 minutes to the mouth of the hot spring canyon. You will see a giant sign alerting the dangers of Naegleria Fowleri. Follow the canyon up 5 minutes to the giant ladder which takes you up the waterfall into the pools. CAUTION: This hike can be very strenuous on hot days. Bring a fuck-ton of water or else you will die. Los Angeles Swimmin is not responsible for your unpreparedness. Hike out all your trash and leave the place cleaner than it was before you got there.

Went out to Sapphire Falls in Rancho Cucamonga for some cliff jumping adventures. Recently the city made it illegal to hike up the falls via the wash cuz some shithead resident keeps bitching about his swollen vagina. He doesn’t want people walking on his “property” and now the entire Rancho Cucamonga police force patrols the area 24-7 cuz those losers got nothing else better to do. Because of this, the trail up to the falls is now the biggest pain in the ass.

We hiked in the hard way and hiked out the illegal way cuz we couldn’t smell any bacon wafting in the wind. There are 4 sets of falls in Cucamonga Canyon, the one we went to is called Sapphire Falls cuz that is the name of the street you park on to visit. The trail to the falls is not for the feint of heart. You must be in decent physical shape with enough upper body strength to climb ropes. That being said, VISIT AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Directions: 210 E exit Carnelian and go left up the hill. Turn left on Hillside road then make a right on Sapphire. Park at the intersection of Sapphire and Almond, be sure to observe parking restrictions as the pigs love to write tickets with their little hooves. Hike up Skyline Road as it turns into the Cucamonga Truck Trail. You will see many places to cut across into the canyon on the left. We went down where the white forest service gate blocks the road and descended the ropes to the canyon bottom. We then headed upstream and climbed the rope at the first falls. Five more minutes upstream takes you to the second falls where the cliff jumping action is. Continue up more ropes and another thirty minutes to the third and fourth falls. Hike out the way you came or chance it by walking out the wash and up Almond Street. Bring a fuck ton of water and CLEAN UP YOUR TRASH.

We drove up from LA to Lake Shasta near Redding California, rented a boat from Holiday Harbor for the weekend and took off. Found some cliffs that were exposed due to the low level of the lake. Got our jump on, ate, drank and porked. The boat didn’t start up after the first night but Throb and Tear Bear got it working with a little manpower. We tried to get a discount on our boat cuz of it but those dicks at Holiday Harbor weren’t having it. Whatever, fuck ‘em. Enjoy the video.

Took a trip, jumped some cliffs. Enjoy the vid.